Finding the Silver Lining

So as I’ve shared before, the intention I have in my current work is for it to be the physical representation of my search and discovery of the ‘silver lining’.

I’ve been working on this skill of search and discovery for a long time. About 15+ years now. Over these years of what I personally consider training my perspective, I’ve definitely fallen into a period of toxic positivity. Among other growing pains and lessons.

I don’t know how long it took me to realize that trying to bullshit myself does not work for me. The silver lining has to be found with truth. If it’s not true then I can’t buy into it, and if I can’t buy into it the what the hell is the point of the silver lining!

So I find myself in the spot of starting to bullshit myself again. I want to share what feels like a pretty huge personal life lesson, but I just can’t find the silver lining. Believe me, I’m looking, but every interpretation i think I see feels more like forced positivity than it does truth.

It’s definitely part of my life that I’m seeing myself live through right now. I feel removed. I don’t know why I don’t know how I am. I just don’t know, and to try and point to a silver lining just makes things worse. Solitude and the hermit state feel like THE place to be right now. But I don’t want to WANT to be there.

so I guess for now I’ll continue to patiently search. Hopefully I’ll find it so I can write a title story and share that particular silver lining. Once it’s truthful and not just bullshit I can finally collect it and put it out there.

I’m excited and look forward to it, because it’s been weighing heavy.